his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
