She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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