man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
