Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
