I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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