Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
