Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
