I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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