the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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