My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
