we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
its not stalking. its research.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
