Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
