So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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