I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
