I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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