Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
