Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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