i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
