On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
