? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
