..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You work out of a Hotel?
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
