Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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