dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
