Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You're so nebulous sometimes
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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