STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Say something about gay babies.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize