i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
