Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
