Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
