Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
