shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
