He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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