Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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