im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You may now shotgun with the bride
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
