but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
