I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
