I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
handjob tips. give me some.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
