Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
