Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
