508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
