Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
