just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
