you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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