Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
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