a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
