So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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