Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
