My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
this boner is exhausting
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
