just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
