What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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