I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
