Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I didn't notice because vodka
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
