hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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