if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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